Have you ever felt like you belong somewhere where you’re not already a member? Somewhere where you haven’t been invited, and with people whom you don’t know well? That was my story my last couple of years of high school, and the unclaimed position seems to still haunt me.  For many it’s very easy to make friends and keep them, if only for a while. Some friendships last more than others but they almost always seem to have a clear beginning and a clear, though sometimes blurry, end.  The beginnings of my friendships are always… fast.  No one has ever really taken the time to ask many questions about me, they only judge what they see.  And so getting to know me they often find things they dislike, and for more reasons than I dare question my friendships are usually very brief.  And the endings of my friendships are usually hazy and unprovoked. I inspire no definitive feeling from my peers, it’s not exactly respect that I inspire, nor fear, it’s not pity and it’s not disgust, it’s not admiration nor pure hatred or jealousy… no, I don’t believe it’s any of these things which I inspire the most, none at least by themselves… if it is admiration it may easily be accompanied by some form of hatred, and if it’s not respect by itself, nor respect along with admiration it may even be some form of fear.  I am a strange kind of person to them, to those who seek the labeling of every kind of person that there is.  And they don’t need to know much about me in order to realize where I belong, for I belong to them in that unclassified section of their minds, which they don’t bother to think about much.  That part of their minds remains very unvisited, and in some cases seems nonexistent altogether. Is that why I’ve felt so often ignored? Unloved by anyone outside my immediate family…? Perhaps.  Of course these are only late night theories.  The truth seldom begins with a theory, because along the path of experimentation that a theory requires are found factors that may alter the ultimate finding, the truth is only a myth to the theorist.